Gem

A decade when time stood still

moving marbles, jacks, and checkers

on the picnic cloth always tucked

into my vintage wicker basket

casing the outside of the school parking lot

Little did I know it was all a magic act

like when the memory of a scent

school halls brought emotions

that melted my brain

foaming from front to back

A time when I believed

I could be anything I wanted

smelled of enthusiasm

lilacs to bees in the spring

In the eyes of my teachers, I could see

what they thought they were hiding from me

myself and I sensed something was a miss —

a girl from a conservative home

sick to belong, be strong

was the southern comfort as it tore

through my throat

Songs of youth, quivering confidence

that I could make it

stubbing a place holder

by the dugout

with my Mary Jane shoes

Time warp speed of graphic

as they erupt

bloom and wilt

my spirit waivered

oh, how the rivers poured

gullies from my downspout

Base to top

I clung to look up

blinded by my mind’s eye

the bells were stationary 

letters dropped in a bottomless post

The id didn’t know ego 

where I was headed

back to recall goldenrod

yellow quilts soft as a baby’s forehead

A decade of blissful impasse

fork in the road, meat on a stick

with the beautiful residue that remains

like ruby dust on a jeweler’s bench

marks the place we will meet again 

moving my heart to disappear